Going into it we both knew that it was because we were drunk and horny and in the same room. Nothing more.

But knowing all of this going into the friend-hook-up, knowing really clearly that this is a one-night thing,  you can’t do too much. There’s a mental block there, knowing that you want to be friends again when it’s over, remembering tales of girlfriends past. And of course, you can’t be friends once you’ve hooked up. I really don’t think you can.

I’d never really considered the idea of hooking up with this friend before that night. It had always been his friends I was into, and him that i’d confided in and given advice to. And sadly, since that night our friendship has never been the same. No surprise there.

In retrospect I can see the moment, weeks before, when the end began. We had been   discussing the nature of our friendship, how we could have it work in ways that other guy-girl friendships didn’t.

“It’s because we have no sexual tension!” I exclaimed with delight.

And those eight words were the nail in the coffin of our friendship. It brought it right to the surface, and made us curious. Why hadn’t there been tension?  We soon learned that it was because although there was great friend-love between us, the feelings weren’t deeper, and there just wasn’t any sexual tension there, at least not very much. A costly mistake to learn something we’d both already known.

And so concludes my foray into FWB. I hooked-up with three close guy friends (who are also all friends with each other, ugh my circle is too small) and only really found embarrassment or regret in these encounters. Also experience. At least I can always say experience.

image from: http://chicago.timeout.com/articles/features/73524/friends-with-benefits