The old-fashioned approach: actually talking to someone.

Yikes- just accidentally posted this on a way more legit blog! gotta keep my internets straight

So, i’ve used craigslist’s missed connections. 

I can admit it. 

This was part of my crazy autumn of ‘09 when I was grabbing onto any glimmer of a chance at a hook-up. Boyfriends were not on my mind. I wanted to play the field, but it turns out that that’s not so easy for me. So I was pushing my boundaries, which is always healthy, and I was trying different approaches to the dating game. 

This included turning to the internet to get shit started. 

One night in November my friends and I were headed to a late-night party. In the alley that led to the house we were going to, we met a few guys who were play-fighting. They explained that the party was over but that the ‘afterparty’ was at their house, so we followed them down the street. 

I was speaking to a really charismatic masters student and I was thinking,”There’s chemistry here. This could be fun.”

Once we arrived at their house we continued our conversation in the kitchen with a few friends. The rest of our group stayed in the living room with the hosts. At this point it was about 3:30am and everyone had been celebrating for quite some time. Just as i’m really warming up to this guy in the kitchen we hear a loud BANG from the other room, and people start to yell. 

We run in and find our very drunk friend (the only guy in our group) pinned on the floor by two of the roided-out guys whose house it was. These guys are choking him and holding his legs down yelling at him, “You come into my house and disrespect me! You little Fuck!”

All of the girls are jumping on these guys and pulling them off and yelling at them and it’s total mayhem. I go into panic mode and start ordering my friends around, telling them to go get their clothes and shoes and to leave. The guy who was beaten-up is yelling that he wants his backpack and the other guys throw it down the stairs at him shouting threats. As we make our way down the stairs the peaceful guy from the kitchen is saying my name and trying to get my attention. “Annik! Annik!” 

I obviously notice, and I love it, but I keep going because I’m worried about my safety. 

Once we’re outside everyone seems to be in high spirits except for me. They want to go to another party. I head home. 

The next day, i’m still thinking about the masters guy. I know, his friends beat up my friend, but i thought that there’d been the mythic ‘spark’ and I was on a hooking-up roll, so i thought i’d try to keep it going. 

Knowing no one in common with this guy, I decide that my situation is a legitimate Missed Connection, and throw myself at the mercy of the internet. 

A few days later, I actually get a reply!

“although there was no name in the message, I’m gonna assume it’s Annik (I should definitly get some bonus points for spelling)! I still don’t know much about the fight….but it seems that your friend said something offensive/to piss him off and my friend reacted. I’ll check with my friends to see about his jacket, and try and get that back to you!

As for our conversation, I was really enjoying getting to know you and was dissapointed it had to end (especially like that). I would honestly like a chance to finish where we left off! Give me a call, and we could meet up. Take care, and sorry for all that shit that went down!”

Turns out that a friend of a friend saw the message and sent it to him!

We arrange to meet for coffee and spend an hour having a really intense conversation. I think that this is my first official date and I sort of feel like it’s a test or a performance. But there is that interest there and he seems like a great guy. He holds the door for me and walks me to class under his umbrella. Once we’re at my building he brings on the romance/cheese.

“I’ve never kissed a girl in the rain before, I think if we hadn’t been interrupted on Saturday it would’ve happened…”

And so I kiss this guy on the steps of the Arts Building in front of anyone who might’ve passed by. It was an amazing kiss actually, and I had that whole weak-knees thing afterwards. I think I was partly just high on the idea that this Missed Connections thing had worked out and that this was my life!

Somehow, though, it didn’t work with this guy. The next day we were texting a bit and I got overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. I started to have a bit of an anxiety attack about the whole thing. It was the end of the semester and my busiest week, I was about to develop a nasty ear-infection and I just couldn’t handle this guy’s intensity. So I told him via text (i know!) that he was a great guy, but that i couldn’t date anyone at the moment. And that was how my missed connection transformed into a non-connection.

I don’t think i’d use the internet again. 

So, BrainRoll is- I might’ve been running from something good, just to make sure I didn’t actually get what i want. But I think I was just feeling that something was off and running from the off. I wonder if you think i’m a complete freak.

Annik